April

Well, the reason April's posting has been a little delayed is because I wasn't really sure how and WHERE to start. I've actually had 3 different drafts of this post and finally decided that I just needed to settle on one! SO, I hope this posting doesn't overwhelm you - it's a LONG one!

When I started back to work last August, life was GREAT!! Don't get me wrong - it was hard dropping Jack off at daycare every morning, but I knew he was in good hands. His "teachers" at the daycare got Jack on a schedule for me, which I thought was wonderful! They loved and spoiled him like no other (I could tell he was the class favorite!!). Jack started sleeping through the night as soon as I started back at work, so I was getting plenty of rest. I missed working SOO much that I was EAGER to jump back in! My boss was great - he slowly eased me back into my "normal" workload, so I would have a few months to adjust to this new life. As easy as things were at that moment, I never thought that I would ever struggle. Life was great! As the economy worsened and after 2 rounds of lay-offs, I started to put pressure on myself to step it up at work. It was hard to watch some of my closest friends leave. I wanted the company to thrive. I cared about my co-workers and their families and felt responsible for getting the company work. And THAT is when I started to struggle.I struggled with my priorities. It seemed like work had become my number one priority. I made less time for God, for Josh, and for Jack. Somedays, Josh and I would have "discussions" as to who would need to leave work on time to pick up Jack before the daycare closed. Often, we would only get to see Jack for an hour before he had to get to bed (we'd put him down at 7:30 since we needed to be out the door so early). When I worked late, I would only see him for the 10 to 15 minutes I had him in the car. When he was sick (and fortunately he wasn't sick often!), we'd have to figure out who was going to have to stay home from work. It was tough.

For months, Josh and I started to pray for direction as to what needed to change. We weren't sure if I needed to find a different job, quit and stay home, or find a part-time job. We met with some close, WISE friends that had been praying for us as well, and they brought to light a lot of things. That weekend, I drafted an email to send to my boss to see if we could meet to discuss me reducing my hours. Well, that next work week, I didn't send the email because it was a busy week and I didn't want to spring it on him. Then, then next week, Jack got sick and I missed most of the week. When I got back to work, I deleted the email because I started to feel bad. And quite frankly, I was having a hard time letting go. Well, not but a week later, I was laid off of work. It was clear that the Lord was saying, "You know, if you don't do it, I'll do it for you." Wow. I can't tell you the joy and relief I was feeling of being free from the burden that I was carrying. It was a bittersweet departure.

We've kept in touch with my Key family and I've even taken Jack by to visit - WORK HARD, PLAY HARD. Maybe he'll want to be an Estimator one day... I wouldn't wish it on him!!

Life is GREAT again. And you know, our marriage is even better. We didn't even know how great our marriage could be until now. In the meantime, I AM looking for something part-time, so if you know of anything, call me!